


All of the Stars

by spacechannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Bang Chan is Whipped, Felix and Minho are Cousins, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda, Lee Felix is a sweetheart, M/M, Mentioned Kim Hongjoong, but not at first that comes later, rated mature for later events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28090332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacechannie/pseuds/spacechannie
Summary: Reflecting on things is dangerous. Chan knows this, but that doesn't stop him from looking through the notebook documenting his most precious memories.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 17





	1. Prologue - 20th of December 2020

** 20th of December 2020. **

It was clear that the notebook had been on the floor untouched for a while, the layer of dust on top of it and around it being the evidence. He even knew exactly how long it’s been there, and why it was there in the first place, because it was himself who had thrown it to the ground around a month prior. Now that he’s noticed it again he couldn’t help but pick it up and contemplate opening it, despite knowing that would be a bad idea. His day was bad enough as it is, and his friends would a hundred percent snatch the book from him and throw it away, but they weren’t here to stop him from adding salt to his wounds. He just wanted to relive those happier days.

He sat in his ancient office chair which creaked like it would fall apart any moment while placing the notebook on his desk, turned on the little desk lamp and found his pencils. He dusted off the book before he opened it, immediately being bombarded with the memories he had documented. Five pages stood out significantly. not only because they were highlighted, underlined and in bold font, but also because of the meaning they held. It was five dates that he had written down so he would never forget them.

The 20th of December 2017, 14th of July 2018, 17th of November 2018, 4th of May 2019, and 17th of November 2020. Those days he could never forget.

The 20th of December is the first thing in the entire book, and the 17th of November 2020 is the newest entry in the book so far, but that was gonna change soon. He wanted to finish this book and chapter once and for all, writing one last note before it would all be gone. Before he could write anything, he wanted to relive what they had. He wanted to relive the happiness he felt around him, and the love he radiated towards him just one last time, even if it was the worst thing he could do according to not only his friends, but also himself.

Yet here he was, about to put an end to their story.


	2. Chapter One - 20th of December 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, THE DAY IS HERE, AFTER A SOLID YEAR. this fic has been on the way for almost a years, and it even underwent a rewrite before it was even done with the first chapter, but we're finally here, so please be nice.

Regardless of what anyone thought of his actions, he flipped the page over and was met instantly by his own handwriting from three years ago, which was arguably much messier than his current one. Still he was able to read every word perfectly and the memories started flooding in like ocean waves.

_20th of December 2017._

_It was the last day of classes before the holidays, and Chan really didn't feel like attending his music history class. Sure some of it was interesting enough sometimes, but not today. Not when his insomnia yet again robbed him of a full eight hours of sleep, leaving him with only one and a half hours to work with. On any other given day, Chan would’ve just pushed through and went on with his day as if he had a normal sleep schedule, he just didn’t feel like functioning today._

_So there Chan was, sitting at his usual morning table, waiting for his usual morning tea, contemplating whether he should get going when he got his beverage, or if he should stay at the cafe, thus skipping class. He could always spend the time on something useful, like making some beats for the little rap trio he was part of. It was at least ten times more interesting than whatever his music history teacher could offer him on the last day before everyone went home to their families again. Except for Chan, who was forced to stay on campus because he couldn’t afford to go back to Australia where his family still lived._

_That's when his fairly ordinary day started to become interesting._

_Chan registered somewhere in his mind that the familiar little bell at the front went off, signaling that someone had entered the cafe. He pulled out his laptop and the portable keyboard he always had in his bag, started to set everything up and turned on the laptop. Then he heard the sound of someone pulling out the chair across from where he was sitting, and someone’s bag was placed on the floor, only given away by the sound of keychains clattering together._

_He had gotten company. Someone had joined him at his table, and Chan looked up with a slightly shocked expression to see which stranger had decided to seat themselves in his company uninvited. He doesn’t know who he was expecting it to be, but it definitely wasn’t one of Hyunjin and Jisung’s classmates. Chan never really noticed his classmates, and especially not his roommates’ for that matter. Not because he didn't want to, but simply because he was generally too focused on the actual classes, or trying to stay awake from the lack of sleep, but this particular face he had noticed a few times._

_He had seen the kid when picking up Hyunjin from his dance practice a few times, or he had been walking the hallways with Jisung until he noticed Chan and begun to pester him about something stupid. His hair was a very faded mess of pink, his doe-like eyes a dark shade of brown, his lips a deep-set cupid’s bow and his jawline chiseled. And even if the boy was fairly acquainted with both Jisung and Hyunjin, Chan somehow never managed to learn the boy’s name._

_The boy must have noticed the confused look on his face, as he proceeded to explain his presence. “I hope you don’t mind if I sit here, this is the only seat left, unless I wanted to third wheel a couple, which honestly isn’t the ideal start to anyone’s morning.” Chan couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at what the boy said, but he was incredibly surprised by how deep his voice was. Chan took a quick look around the cafe and true to what the boy said, it was busier than usual today, and the only seat left really was at the table Chan had claimed the first day he came here._

_“Sure you can sit here, nothing can be worse than third-wheeling couples.” The boy smiled indebtedly as he took off his coat and finally sat down as if he had waited for the other’s full permission before fully invading his privacy, which Chan appreciated. “If I’m not mistaken, you have a few classes with Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin right?” He seemed slightly surprised at Chan’s question, but still nodded while answering. “I do, Hyunjin is in my dance classes and I have a group project with Jisung.”_

_“Good luck with that project, knowing Sungie he’ll either end up doing it last minute or just not do it at all, even if I tell him to get a move on.” The boy smiled shyly at his attempt to start a conversation, but continued it nonetheless. “Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” They sat in silence for a little while, as Chan continued to set up his laptop. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was surprisingly comfortable actually, but then the boy seated across him spoke again._

_“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how did you know I went to classes with Hwang Hyunjin and Han Jisung?” It was only in this moment that Chan realised how weird it must have sounded when a stranger suddenly asked about the people you went to class with, even knowing some of them. “I don’t mind the question at all, I can understand if it came off a bit too straightforward. I share a dorm with Jisung along with Seo Changbin and Hyunjin likes to crash there more days than any of us want him to.”_

_“Ahh, that makes sense.” The boy nodded while speaking. “Now to my next question, what is your name, and aren’t you technically supposed to be in class now?” Chan was a little caught off by the last part, but it was a fair guess since the cafe was beginning to empty out as people had to attend their classes. “My name is Bang Chan, Jisung may have referred to me as Chris, since that was my name back in Australia, and about me being in class, yes I should, but I still lack my morning tea and the motivation to actually attend music history.”_

_The boy’s face lit up as soon as he mentioned Australia. “No way, you’re from Australia too, my name is Lee Felix, might’ve been referred to as Yongbok. Also the motivation to go to class thing, I know that feeling, sometimes you just don’t want to go.” Chan almost lit up as much as the boy, who he now had learned was named Felix, had lit up when he mentioned Australia. “So you’re the boy Jisung talked about nonstop, saying there was another Australian but refused to introduce me to because I, quote unquote, ‘scare people’”_

_And then Felix laughed. It was the brightest laugh he had heard all semester, and he couldn’t help but laugh himself. Chan decided in that very moment, that he would do everything to protect that precious laughter for as long as he could. His laugh was very clear, so full of joy like he was the most carefree person in the world, having no struggles, just living his best life. And in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to be part of that life._

_Then he remembered that Felix had been very fixated on him not being in class, despite not being there himself either. “Speaking of classes, aren’t you also supposed to be in class now, or did you just willingly wake up early?” Felix chuckled lightly before shrugging his shoulders. “Well, I was supposed to have a morning class with Mrs. Moon, but on my way out of the dorm I saw it had been cancelled, so I just decided that going back to bed wasn’t worth it. I was already dressed, so I came here, even if I’m technically free for the day and could just go home and sleep some more.”_

_To say Chan was baffled by that response was an understatement. Chan was left blinking at the boy across him like Felix had spoken a language he didn’t understand. “How do you even pass up on such a perfect opportunity to get more sleep, that is literally all I want to do right now.” Felix laughed again, and was just about to reply when their conversation was cut off by the waiter yelling both Chan and Felix’s name from the counter, telling them that their drinks were ready._

_Before Chan could even react, Felix had already stood up with a small smile. “I’ll go get them.” And then he was off, yet again leaving Chan slightly confused, but appreciative of the fact that he didn’t have to get up. Chan was still exhausted and slightly groggy, even if getting robbed of a good night’s sleep was nothing new to him. He had just enough time to open the program on his laptop he used to make music before Felix had returned with both of their drinks, setting Chan’s drink down in front of him with a smile, which Chan gladly reciprocated. But instead of returning to his seat across from him, Felix placed his cup next to the elder’s, then went to grab his bag and coat from the other side of the table. He placed the bag next to the chair to Chan’s right and hung his coat on it, before pulling it out and sitting down._

_“I hope you don’t mind if I sit here and keep you company while you work, Jisung always raves about his music production classes and it got me curious. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re a music major, based on the amount of equipment you have, but I could be wrong of course.” Chan swears he melted a little bit from the sheer amount of consideration to his personal workspace Felix showed, along with what seemed like genuine interest in what he was doing, which Chan rarely got, to be honest. Most people simply didn’t care for what he poured countless sleepless nights and unimaginable amounts of frustration into._

_“I don’t mind you sitting here at all. I’m probably gonna stay here a while though, I can’t be bothered to go to Mr. Park’s music history class, and I’d much rather work on this track. I’ve been trying to get it right for a week now, so maybe an outside perspective would be nice, if you’d like to help me.” Chan took the first sip of his tea, taking a short moment to appreciate the liquid finally entering his system. Felix lit up again at the mention that he could help, his eyes almost sparkling. “I’d love to help you out Chan-ssi. Just tell me how and I’ll see what I do.”_

_Chan just couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face at how adorably eager Felix looked in that moment, he almost melted into a puddle again. “Don’t worry about being too formal Felix, you can just call me hyung. I’m guessing you must be around the same age as Hyunjin and Jisung since you take classes with them. I'm about 3 years older than those idiots.” Felix visibly relaxed at the answer, letting out a quiet sigh of relief, which Chan probably wouldn’t even have heard if he really was focusing on the track he was making like he should._

_“I’m actually only a day younger than Jisung, and he will not let me forget it for even a moment. On the first day I met him, he tried to convince me I had to call him hyung because he was older, and he probably would have succeeded if Seungmin and Hyunjin hadn’t been there to tell him off about misinforming foreigners.” Chan smiled as he pulled a spare headset out of his bag, intending for Felix to use it so he could listen along. “It doesn’t even surprise me that he tried that, he does it too often. I really don’t know how Changbin hasn’t thrown him out of the house yet.” As he spoke, he handed the extra headset to Felix, who gladly accepted it. “I can’t imagine how painful he must be to live with if he acts like he does in classes. Not to speak ill of him or anything, that’s not my intent at all, but I’d probably end up with grey hair within a month.”_

_Felix’s words made Chan laugh, before he was reminded of all the struggles of living with the one and only Han Jisung. “It’s incredible Changbin and I haven’t gone mad yet. He’s really a challenge, but we manage somehow.” Felix let out another laugh as he placed the headset on top of his head, adjusting it so it fit him comfortably. “I can imagine. But what was it that you needed help with, just to speak of other things than the infamous Han Jisung and his questionable shenanigans.”_

_“Ahhh yes, the song, it has a very different approach than what I’d usually produce, but Mr. Kim wanted to challenge my abilities I guess. I’ve got most of the instrumental done, but I have no idea about what to write for the lyrics. I don’t know how far your knowledge of lyric writing goes, but anything helps at this point really.” Felix looked a little scared when Chan mentioned songwriting, but quickly regained his composure after a short bit of thinking. “I mean, I could always give it a try, but I can’t promise it’ll be anything amazing, I’ve never written a song before, and my Korean is still very limited.”_

_“We could start off by listening to what I already have made, and if you have any suggestions what so ever just let me know. And you shouldn't feel pressured about writing lyrics if you can’t, I can always ask Changbin, he’s good with these kinds of songs.” Felix shot him a quick smile before Chan pressed play, letting the song that caused most of his current frustrations ring through both of their ears. Chan doesn’t think he’s ever used so much piano in one song, but this was a challenge from his teacher after all. Felix was sitting next to him, swaying his head to the music with his eyes closed, clearly focused._

_Suddenly Felix pulled out a notepad and started writing, and Chan wouldn’t have noticed it if he wasn’t completely mesmerized by the younger boy next to him. When the song ended, Chan looked at Felix waiting for him to speak about something, which he surely did. “I was taking some notes, even if I’ve never written a song, the instrumental gave some sort of vision of what kind of lyrics it could have. Of course, it might not be the best with my lack of experience in this field, but I hope that I can help write this.”_

_Felix handed his notes to Chan, who happily started reading through them, relieved that he wasn’t stuck on a block anymore. Felix’s notes talked about the struggle of achieving the dream of making music professionally, all the hard work that goes into it, and their will to succeed no matter the hardships they have to go through to make it, whether it’s loss of sleep or bruises from practice. To say Chan was impressed would be an understatement. “Felix, this is perfect, how did you just come up with this on a whim?”_

_Chan swore he saw Felix’s cheeks go red from the praise, but decided not to comment on it, saving him from the embarrassment of being called out like that. “I don’t know where it came from, to be honest, but it just popped into mind halfway through, so I quickly found my notes so I wouldn’t forget it.” Chan handed Felix’s notes back shortly after, smiling widely. “That was smartly done. I’d love to have you write this song, and I would love to help as much as I can if there’s some Korean you need help with, I’m sure I could ask Changbin too if he’d be willing to help you out if I’m not able to, or any of your friends if you’re more comfortable with that.”_

_“I’m sure Minho hyung or Seungmin would help out, but I still want to try to do as much as I can myself.” Felix had a confident look on his face, almost beaming at the idea of trying something new like this, and Chan couldn’t help but mirror his expression. “I get where you’re coming from, I was like that too when I started producing. Speaking of which, the instrumental isn’t completely finished yet, there’s still places that need some tweaking, so it’s okay if you want to take the headset off so you don’t have to listen to the same little part over and over again like I do.”_

_“No it’s okay, I told you I was curious about music production, so listening to the progress might be interesting and might give me a pretty good idea of what it’s like.” Normally Chan would’ve insisted that Felix didn’t have to listen along with him, having received complaints about replaying one part too much from pretty much anyone who heard him when he was producing. Yet Chan just couldn’t bring himself to insist this time. He was still exhausted, and he would’ve forgotten about his tea if Felix hadn’t taken a sip of his own drink at that moment. His tea was luckily still warm though._

_Felix had already returned to writing some more, so Chan only found it appropriate to also continue his task of finishing the song, so he got to work. He started at the bridge, which still sounded too bland. Chan was aware that it might sound bland because of the lacking lyrics, but everything about the bridge was bothering him to no end. And he was still stuck on that specific part, so he kept replaying the bridge over and over again. Chan was pretty sure Felix was getting tired of hearing that one part for the millionth time now, but then he heard a faint hum through his headset coming from the younger._

_Felix kept humming the same melody every time the bridge looped, and he gradually started replacing the sounds with actual words. Chan was desperately trying to focus on trying to figure out what was lacking from the bridge other than the lyrics, but Chan couldn’t keep his mind from the boy’s faint humming. Felix was still writing on his notepad, sometimes crossing out some words, then writing new ones. When Chan finally stopped the loop, Felix was still so deep in his own world that he didn’t notice the music had stopped at first, he was still singing the melody he had come up with. Felix only noticed it when Chan cleared his throat after taking another sip of his tea._

_Felix glanced at him with a rather confused look, forcing Chan to explain why he had interrupted. “You were humming and singing along to the bridge, do you mind sharing what you were thinking, it sounds interesting.” Felix turned about as red as a tomato, possibly from being praised again, before he whispered a quiet sure, signaling with his hand to start the music again. This time Chan turned all of his attention to what Felix was singing, listening carefully as he sang the first part, humming the second part. “_ _We can rest but it’s still too early. We need to rest but it’s still so far away. The path we must go on, even though we can’t see the end, we must go to the end.”_

_Chan was in awe. He was completely mesmerized, not only by Felix’s singing voice, which was significantly higher than his usually deep speaking voice, but also by the beautiful and fitting lyrics he somehow had come up with in about twenty minutes. “Felix that was incredibly good, you sing really well, and the melody fits so perfectly with the vibe of the song.” If Chan thought Felix was red earlier, the younger boy must have combusted by now. He spared a thought to how little Felix must have been complimented throughout his life to react like that every time Chan complimented him._

_“Thank you hyung, I know my singing isn’t the best, but I’m glad you like the lyrics. I hope it helped a little bit.” Felix was smiling as he said the last thing, and Chan was slightly offended that Felix would even think that he couldn’t sing, or that Felix thought that he wasn’t that much help. “Are you kidding me, Felix? I’ve been stuck on this song for a week, and then you show up and just break that block within an hour, you’ve helped me so much, I’m gonna have to pay for your drink or something.”_

_Then Felix started to smirk, and Chan started to feel a little uneasy about what the younger was smirking about. “Well hyung, about that, I kinda already paid when I was fetching the drinks for us.” Now Chan was slightly dumbfounded, mostly because he somehow didn’t notice that Felix had sneakily paid. “Why did you pay for my drink though? Not that I’m complaining of course, but I’m curious.” “I’m not sure if you remember, but I basically intruded on your personal space, so I thought the least I could do to repay you for even letting me be here would be to pay for your tea.”_

_“Oh well, guess I’ll just have to pay for our lunch then.” As Chan spoke, Felix had started to look gradually more and more confused, even giving it away as he responded. “Hyung, what do you mean ‘our lunch’? Who said anything about lunch?” Chan couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger’s confusion before explaining. “I owe you a solid for helping me with that song, I would’ve probably been stuck on it for at least another week if it wasn’t for you, and since you already paid for our drinks, I’ll buy our lunch when that time comes. Of course only if you want to eat with me, I’m not gonna force you to have lunch with me.”_

_“I can’t say no to free food.” Felix said in a joking manner after thinking about it for a bit, silently prompting the older to lighten up a bit. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, you’re just out for my wallet,” Chan responded in an equally joking manner, drawing a laugh from Felix, his eyes crinkling slightly, also making Chan laugh. “But all jokes aside, I’d like to have lunch with you hyung, and not just because you’re paying. I enjoy your company.”_

_“I’m glad you think so, I also like your company, Felix. I’d still say it’s too early to go get lunch, It’s only about 10 am, so what do you say we stay here and work on this song until it’s lunchtime?” Felix smiled warmly and grabbed his pen again. “That sounds good, I don’t have much to do anyways.” The two of them returned to their respective work, Felix with his pen and notepad, Chan with his laptop, both of them wearing a headset._

_That’s how Chan and Felix spent the next two hours, only disturbed by the occasional conversation about their own lives, friends and families, constantly switching between English and Korean. They would’ve probably kept talking if it wasn’t for Chan’s stomach growling loudly in hunger. The pair agreed to continue the work on the song later, possibly at Chan’s place if they could. He packed his laptop back into his bag, and Felix put his pen and notepad away. Both of them grabbed their coats and threw out their empty cups, and went on their way. “So Felix, what do you want to eat? Since you oh so sneakily paid for my tea, you might as well choose what we eat.” He said this, all while grinning at Felix, who quickly mirrored Chan’s expression._

_“Well to be completely honest, I just want some ramen.” Felix’s grin switched to a laugh when he noticed how dumbstruck Chan looked from his suggestion. “What, like convenience store ramen or ramen restaurant ramen?” Felix straight up giggled at his response, like the answer to Chan’s question was the most obvious thing in the world. “Would you believe me if I said convenience store ramen?” Chan was left blinking confusedly, still not believing his own ears. “So what you’re telling me is that even if I’m paying, and you could literally get anything you wanted if it wasn’t too expensive, and you chose the cheapest option possible?”_

_“You did say I could choose whatever I wanted, and what I want is convenience store ramen. Seungmin and Jeongin are always eating ours and Minho hyung refuses to buy me more when we’ve run out, so let’s go before you die of starvation; I can hear your stomach from here.” Chan couldn’t deny that his stomach was being unusually loud today. The two boys weren’t even standing that close, and Felix could still hear it. “I will not hesitate to make you pay for your own food if you keep teasing me. I am a hungry man.” Then Felix laughed, nudged Chan’s shoulder, and ran off. Felix turned around not long after, now walking backwards as he yelled back to Chan. “Then you should hurry up and get going, because the way I see it, you’re also a very slow man despite being hungry.”_

_Chan was taken aback by Felix’s cheekiness, frozen in place, still blinking confusedly, making him laugh even harder than he already was. Then he jogged back over to Chan, snapping his fingers in front of him before speaking. “Come on hyung, you’re not the only one who’s hungry, I haven’t gotten any proper food today.” Chan finally snapped out of his confusion, and the first thing he did was playfully punch Felix’s arm, then it was his turn to walk off while talking. “I don’t know if I’d call ramen from a convenience store proper food Felix, but whatever you say. Come on now, we don’t have all day.”_

_Felix must have started walking soon after Chan did, because now Felix was ahead of him, turning around so he was walking backwards as he spoke. “It depends what you mix it with.” Felix was wearing the biggest smile on his face, like he was the happiest person alive, purely from the fact that he was getting noodles for lunch. “And you seem to wonder why Minho refuses to buy you ramen, you probably wouldn’t eat anything else if he actually did.” Chan almost wasn’t able to finish his sentence because the younger started cutting him off. “And while that might be true, you have no right calling me out like that.”_

_Felix made Chan laugh with that. The younger was still walking backwards, somehow not bothering to turn around again. He would’ve probably continued walking backwards if Chan hadn’t grabbed him so he didn’t walk directly in front of a car. The older just sighed before opening his mouth. “Felix, I really can’t pay for your lunch if you die because you can’t be bothered to face the way you’re walking, so please just walk like a normal human being while we’re in traffic.”_

_“You’ve got a point. I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything; it's become a habit that Seungmin also has grown tired of.” Even if Felix was close to being run over, he was still smiling brightly, something that Chan knew he would admire for a long time if the younger let him. “Maybe you should listen to Seungmin then, I have a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate you getting run over either. Although I will say that habit would be something Jisung could manage to acquire, so please beware of that as well. I’d like my flatmate alive, and I need someone to pay the rent.”_

_“As I said, no promises.” “You’re gonna have to promise not to do it here, I do not want you to die on my watch, Felix.” At this point, Felix was straight up giggling at whatever Chan said, and Chan had to try a little harder than he should to not also giggle, considering the situation almost resulted in someone getting run over. “That is a fair point hyung. I’ll walk normally for now, but if anything, you can just do what Seungmin usually does and just keep me out of harm's way, like you did earlier.”_

_“Lee Felix, I may be paying for your food but I am not your babysitter.” Chan was left shaking his head in disbelief, while Felix was still laughing and smiling somehow. “You say that, but I’m not the one still holding your arm, am I?” Chan hadn’t noticed it before Felix mentioned it, but he also noticed that Felix was very fixated on the hand on his arm. Chan saw this as a chance for him to get back at Felix for his mischievous antiques earlier. Knowing Felix’s attention was on his hand, Chan gave Felix’s arm a little squeeze by flexing his hand, then letting go of his arm entirely. “No, but I bet you wish it was.”_

_It was now Felix’s turn to be slightly dumbfounded, but he was much quicker to regain his composure. Still, Chan’s plan had worked, and he swore he saw Felix’s cheeks flush pink. Then he grabbed hold of Chan’s arm, seemingly unaffected, except for the blush painting his cheeks along with the freckles Chan only now noticed Felix had. Chan didn't know how Felix’s freckles had slipped his mind when they were as prominent as they were. He was pulled back to reality by Felix’s deep voice._

_“I saw that statement as an invitation to hold onto your arm, you brought this upon yourself.” Chan couldn’t help but smirk to himself, as Felix did not help his own case. “You just proved my point, Felix, you could’ve done it smarter than that.” “What if I wanted to prove your point hyung?” “What would you gain from that?” “Absolutely nothing, but you’d gain a compliment about your arms. Your arms are nice Bang Chan, now accept the compliment.”_

_“You also could’ve done that whole thing way smarter man, but we’re here now, so you can either keep holding my arm or let go of it, whichever you decide.”_

_Chan was expecting Felix to let go, but the grip on his bicep only tightened. “You know I’m quite content like this, so unless you have a problem with it, I’m gonna stay right here.” Somehow the current situation didn’t feel awkward._

_Having Felix wrapped around his arm like this didn’t feel like it was out of the ordinary. It felt the same as hearing Jisung yet again bickering with Hyunjin about something useless. Or what staying up till three in the morning working on a song with Changbin felt like. Hyunjin was usually in the kitchen on those nights making ramen to those awake, since Jisung passed out on the couch a few hours prior. Chan knew he’d be an idiot if he didn’t hold on to Felix when the younger made Chan feel at home after only knowing Felix for a little under three hours._

_Chan didn’t realise he had been spacing out before Felix snapped his fingers in front of him, taking him back to reality. “Hello there, earth to Bang Chan hyung,” Felix called, and Chan found himself smiling again. “Yeah sorry, got lost in my thoughts there for a second. But no, I have no problem with you holding on. It’s kinda nice with the cold weather, actually.” Then Chan took a step forward, reaching for the door to the store to open it. The pair stepped inside and began their shopping._

_Chan had been here plenty of times since it was dangerously close to his dorm, and they somehow always seem to be low on food. In fact, he had been here so many times he had become fairly acquainted with the cashier. Chan sent a short wave in the direction of the register, giving Felix a slightly confused expression. “Just how many times have you been here for you to greet the cashier?” Chan grabbed a basket and started walking in the direction of the ramen. “Way too often to be fair, and it’s only because, according to Changbin, there’s a ‘magic gnome’ who keeps eating everything in the kitchen all the time, and this place is only about ten minutes from our dorm. I’m fairly certain this magical gnome is just Changbin himself, but he’s too afraid to admit it.”_

_“Sounds like something Seungmin would say. Either that or he’d directly blame it on Jeongin, even though he doesn’t live with us.” They quickly found the ramen, Chan grabbing a few extra, knowing he was running low, so he might as well get some for the household. Felix made a bad joke about the amount before Chan could explain himself, but Felix seemed to understand when he eventually got to. “What else do you need, since you said it depended on what you mixed it with?” Felix lit up and then began to drag Chan around the store searching for whatever he needed, Chan also grabbing a few snacks when they came by some._

_When Felix was finally done with everything he needed to get, some of it being borderline absurd, they headed towards the register, Chan yet again greeting the cashier, this time verbally. “Fancy seeing you here so early, Hongjoong.” The boy behind the register smiled a little as he began to scan their items. “I could say the same to you hyung, I could’ve sworn you were supposed to be in music history classes still.” Chan shrugged a bit with a displeased noise. “Do you really blame me for not being there?” “Absolutely not.”_

_It was only now that Chan realised Felix was looking beyond confused about their interactions, so he nudged him softly, gaining the younger’s attention. “This is Kim Hongjoong, he attends our school as well. He’s a year under me, yet he could tell you all about my bad financial choices. Hongjoong, this is Felix, one of Hyunjin and Jisung’s classmates.” Hongjoong sent a smile in Felix’s direction, nodding as a silent greeting, and Felix mirrored his actions. Meanwhile, Chan was pulling out his card to pay for their items, not even bothering to look at the price. “Tell your roommates I said hi, and nice to meet you, Felix.” Hongjoong saluted the pair as Chan and Felix found a table to place their stuff while preparing their food._

_Felix was already mixing a bunch of stuff together, while Chan was digging into some of the snacks as he watched him prepare the ramen, having also offered to prepare the elder’s food. It didn’t take long for Felix to return to their table, placing the two bowls next to each other before sitting down next to Chan. “Stop eating snacks, you won’t be able to eat the ramen I poured all my love into preparing for you.” “You underestimate my eating abilities mate, stop being so dramatic.”_

_“You wound me, how dare you say I’m dramatic.” Felix brought one hand up to clutch at his own chest, drawing a laugh from Chan, who was stirring the noodles around with his chopsticks, watching as the younger did the same. After a little while, he deemed that it was ready to eat, and took his first bite of food that day. Chan didn’t want to admit it, but Felix’s idea of just going to a convenience store to get ramen was exactly what he needed, even if it wasn’t ideal in any way and his parents would probably scold him for it. The boy next to him also dug into his own food, sighing quietly in contentment, which reminded Chan about Felix’s weird mix of ingredients._

_“I’ve been meaning to ask you about all the weird things you bought, and why you needed them in your ramen.” Felix didn’t say anything at first, but just offered a portion of his noodles to the older. “Taste for yourself first and then I’ll explain.” Chan reluctantly opened his mouth to take what the younger offered him, but the taste was surprisingly good, despite the randomness of the items Felix had put in there. He smiled at the elder’s positive reaction. “You seem to like them.” “I am pleasantly surprised, it’s really good. How did you even come up with this.” Felix had his mouth full of food when the question was asked, but Chan waited patiently until he had finished, genuinely curious._

_“Minho hyung and Jeongin challenged Seungmin and I to a convenience store ‘gourmet duel’ and we had to make the best food we could only with things found in a convenience store. Half of these things were something Seungmin randomly threw into the basket while I was regretting being his best friend.” Felix smiled fondly at the memory, while Chan was left in a little bit of a shock. “Are you telling me that this amazing recipe came about because your best friend just decided to add some random shit to the basket?” Felix laughed. It sounded brighter than the other times, and he also smiled brighter than before. Chan had long decided that he liked it best when Felix was laughing, but this only assured Chan of his decision._

_“To this day, I'm as confused as you are, I have no clue how he knew any of the things he picked out would taste good together. Minho hyung and Jeongin admitted defeat before we even tasted what they made. Seungmin just looked at me with a disappointed expression because I doubted him. Can’t say that I’ve ever doubted him since.” Felix was still smiling widely as he continued talking about his memory. “I would never dare to even trust Jisung or Changbin like that, they would somehow burn down the kitchen before they even get to boiling the water. The only one I trust is Hyunjin, and he doesn’t live with us.” Felix laughed again, just as brightly as he had just a minute earlier._

_“Understandable, judging by how Jisung is normally.” They spent the next twenty minutes talking more about their respective friend groups and a lot about Australia, both boys reminiscing about their childhood and their families back home. Felix talked a lot about his relationship with his siblings, which prompted Chan to talk about his own, also bringing up his dog Berry, eagerly showing pictures of her. There was this mutual understanding between the two, both having gone through the process of moving away from your family._

_“My parents weren’t really supportive at first about me pursuing dance, but they turned around fairly quickly. The only reason I was even allowed to come here is because Minho hyung is my cousin, then I met Seungmin and Jeongin through him. I’m really happy they let me go, but it was kinda hard saying goodbye at the airport.”_

_Chan could only nod in agreement. “I was scared too at first and didn’t really want to go. Not that I was forced here, but because I would miss them all too much. They encouraged me to follow my dreams instead. Plus they promised to update me on Berry every day, and they haven’t missed a day yet.”_

_They finished up their meal, staying in the store for a little while to take a break, eating some of their snacks while deciding what to do next. “You mentioned earlier we might be able to work more on the song at your place maybe, did you ever find out if that was actually possible?” Felix asked carefully, as if he was trying not to sound too eager. Chan honestly forgot he voiced that possibility, but wasn’t opposed to it. “I didn’t, but I can call Changbin and ask. The lucky bastard finished classes yesterday, so he’s been home all day. Might as well give him some work to do by forcing him to help with the song, if you’re up for it?”_

_Felix started to nod enthusiastically. “I’m up for it, as long as you’re sure that your roommate won’t mind it.” Chan smiled lightly at Felix’s show of consideration as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “That’s why I’m calling him beforehand, but I honestly don’t think Binnie will mind. If anything he’d be too surprised about the fact that I actually talked to someone other than him, Hyunjin, and Jisung to care.” Chan unlocked his phone, noting the clock was closing in on one pm before he dialed Changbin’s number, who picked up faster than Chan expected him to._

_The only thing Changbin greeted him with was a quick and annoyed sounding “_ Yes? _”. “Wow, you can’t even greet your hyung properly when he calls you.” Chan’s response prompted Changbin to get brave with his reply. “_ Well hello there beloved Bang Chan hyung, what can I do for you today? _” Chan only sighed in disappointment, hearing Felix laugh at his suffering. “You’re insufferable, Changbin. But the reason I called is because I wanted to ask you if I could bring a friend over in about ten to fifteen minutes?” Changbin made a very confused noise before he responded. “_ You have friends other than us? That’s impressive. _” Chan let out a sigh almost identical to the one he made before, except this one sounded more defeated._

_“Changbin, the ice beneath your feet is very thin right now. I will not hesitate to return the ramen I bought for the house.” At the threat, Changbin began whining about Chan being too mean, but eventually agreed to have guests on his day off and hung up before Chan could threaten him with anything else. He turned to face Felix with a smile on his face. “I told you he’d be okay with it.” Felix replicated his smile as he spoke. “I don’t know hyung, it sounded like he only agreed because his ramen was on the line.”_

_“Knowing Changbin he would’ve agreed in the end anyway. He’s a curious person and me mentioning someone new is enough to pique his interest.” Chan got up from the bench they were sitting on and started to pack some of the snacks into his bag, and Felix shortly followed suit. “Hyung, you make it sound like you don’t have any friends.” Chan shrugged his shoulders lightly. “If anything I’m just being realistic, I like to keep to myself most of the time, as you might’ve noticed yourself earlier in the cafe. Most of my other friends have either graduated or they’re people I met through those graduated.” Chan turned his head towards Felix, as he nodded understandingly._

_“I guess that makes sense. Maybe Jisung is right when he says you scare people.” Chan knew it was meant in a joking manner and rewarded the younger with a playful nudge. “Are you ready to go?” Felix nodded while grabbing his things, and as they went to leave the store, Chan sent one last wave in Hongjoong’s direction before they walked out into the cold again. He jokingly held out his left arm for Felix to grab onto, and the younger immediately played along, latching onto his arm within seconds before pointing in the complete opposite direction of Chan’s place while saying “lead the way”. The older couldn’t help but laugh at Felix’s ridiculousness as he turned them around so they were going the right way._

_The trip to Chan’s apartment was occupied mostly by their conversation from earlier continuing, more specifically it was Felix going in-depth about his parents being reluctant to let him travel to Korea to study dance, and Chan had trouble staying focused on the world around them with Felix around his arm talking so passionately about his story of coming here. Spacing out wasn’t the biggest problem for Chan, since he had walked from the convenience store to his home and vice versa plenty of time. The hardest part was to not get too distracted by the bubbly boy so it seemed like he was staring at Felix, which arguably Chan was, but that was no one's business but his own._

_The cold weather didn’t seem to faze Chan somehow, who usually would’ve complained about the chilly weather nonstop if he had been walking with one of his roommates. It was colder than any other day of the week so far, meaning every time one of the boys spoke, a visible cloud of their warm breaths would appear to float around before evaporating. Yet as sensitive as Chan normally was to the cold, today he didn’t mind it even slightly, and maybe that was all because of the faded pink-haired boy with freckles that was clinging onto his left arm. Chan knew he had been staring for too long when Felix started snapping his fingers in front of him._

_“Hyung, you seem to have a habit of spacing out,” Felix stated, and Chan knew he was right, it was something he did regularly no matter the circumstances, but today it was happening more times than not. He didn’t really have an excuse for this, so he decided to be at least somewhat honest about why he was spacing out. “Sorry about that Felix, but I was honestly just admiring your freckles. They look really pretty.” As soon as Chan had finished his sentence, Felix covered his face with the hand that wasn’t holding onto Chan, which prompted him to stop walking. “I don’t really like them that much, some of my classmates make negative comments about them, usually the same ones who make fun of my lacking Korean sometimes.”_

_Chan might only have known Felix for a little short of five hours, but the piece of information he just learned made Chan mad, but he didn’t let it show on his face. Instead, he turned his attention to the younger, who was still covering his face. Chan let his free hand come up to rest on Felix’s wrist before speaking softly. “Can I move your hand away? I want you to look me in the eyes for a moment if that’s okay with you.” Felix made a slightly confusing noise that sounded both like agreement and disagreement, and Chan wasn’t quite sure what it meant. “Felix was that a yes or a no, I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.” This time Felix made a noise slightly less confusing, sounding more like a hum of agreement while simultaneously nodding his head._

_Chan lightly tried to move Felix’s hand, planning to stop at the first show of resistance, but he must have read his answer correctly, because he didn’t try to stop Chan from moving his hand away, once again revealing his face. Felix was still looking at the ground and Chan felt it was a shame the younger seemed so ashamed of such a beautiful feature as his freckles. “Can I lift your face, Felix? Remember to say no if you’re uncomfortable in this situation.” The younger mumbled something along the lines of ‘I don’t mind hyung’ so he softly hooked his finger under Felix’s chin and slowly lifted up, until he was looking directly into the younger’s dark brown eyes._

_Chan needed a quick moment to gather himself, because ultimately he was not prepared to look into Felix’s eyes, which seemed to actually sparkle despite there being no sun, but it didn’t take long before he opened his mouth. “Never let anyone tell you that your freckles aren’t pretty, or that you should be ashamed of them. Never let anyone tell you your Korean is bad, just because it’s limited. You are insanely brave to dive headfirst into a country with a language you don’t even know to achieve your dream, and that is admirable. I know I haven’t known you for more than five hours, but if anyone is bothering you and your friends aren’t available, you can always find me, yeah? And if you can’t find me, don’t hesitate to ask Jisung or Hyunjin. They’ll know.”_

_Felix nodded ever so softly when Chan had finished his speech, and he knew it was time to move away so it didn’t become weird. He stepped away from Felix, though reluctantly, and gave him a moment to get back to reality. It only took about a minute, but once the younger was good to continue the walk to Chan’s apartment, they began walking again. And Felix was still clutching his left arm, but now it seemed like less of a joke and more of a genuine hold, which the older definitely couldn’t complain about._

_It turned out that from where the boys had stopped, they were only two minutes away from Chan’s apartment. Chan didn’t even bother to find his keys and instead pressured Changbin to open the door for them by repeatedly calling his phone until he obliged. At this point Felix had let go of Chan’s arm, who moved to open the door and held it for him. Chan quickly told Felix what floor they were heading to since he was now behind the younger, yet he still waited for him to lead the way. The older swiftly led Felix up the stairs to the third floor and found his apartment before he began hammering on the door, which was answered by Changbin groaning on the other side of it saying something like he regretted moving in with him before he opened the door for the two._

_“Where’s the ramen, I need to know if you tricked me,” Changbin said immediately after opening up, making Chan laugh before he reached out for the grocery bag which had somehow ended up in Felix’s hands. He gently placed the bag in Chan’s hands, before resuming his position of slightly hiding behind the older, who handed the bag to Changbin. He quickly opened the bag and hummed when he confirmed that Chan hadn’t tricked him, then his roommate disappeared back into the house, finally letting the other two in. Chan stepped in not long after, but Felix seemed to hesitate. “Don’t worry, I know Changbin can look intimidating at first glance, but he’s a complete baby inside, he couldn’t hurt a fly even if he tried.”_

_Felix smiled a little as his expression relaxed, but he still didn’t move to step inside, so Chan held out his hand for him, originally intended to grab the younger’s bag, but instead he grabbed his hand as he walked in. Chan wasn’t complaining, but he was taken aback by the significant difference in their hand sizes. “Your hands are so small Felix oh my god.” Chan began to carefully study Felix’s hand in his own, feeling how the smaller hand fit so nicely into his own. Before he could open his mouth to say what he wanted to say next, there was a yell from the kitchen from Changbin. “Hey lovebugs, you’re letting the penguins in.” Chan closed the door after Felix, who was now having a staring contest with the floor, and then went to yell back. “Changbin if you’re not careful I’ll tell Jisung you were the one who ate his pizza four days ago.”_

_Chan offered to take Felix’s bag to his room along with his own while he untied his shoes, and the younger happily handed over his bag, which was notably lighter than Chan’s own bag, probably because it didn’t contain a laptop and a mini keyboard. When Chan was making his way back to the entryway, Changbin stopped on the way. “You know hyung, I was actually surprised when you said you were bringing someone over, but I will not hesitate to tell him about your scented candle-making.” Chan only smiled before walking back out to Felix. “Do it Changbin, I dare you. Anyways, Felix, this is Changbin, one of my roommates, he may seem scary, but he’s just a big softie. Changbin, this is Felix, my new friend who happens to share classes with Sungie and Hyunjin.”_

_Chan gestured in the direction of their living room, inviting Felix in, who immediately went to shake hands with Changbin while Chan continued speaking. “Felix helped me out of the block I faced on that song Mr. Kim challenged me to make. And the lyrical concept he came up with is right up your alley.” Changbin made a defeated noise and smacked Chan lightly as he complained. “Hyung, you can’t make me work on the one day I’m actually off.” The oldest laughed and dragged the whiny man into his room where they also had their studio set up and motioned for Felix to follow. “I can and I will. I restocked the ramen, remember?”_

_Chan opened the door to his room and shoved Changbin inside while gently waiting for Felix to follow up, while the shortest of the three still complained about having to do anything productive on his day off. “I swear if I hadn’t lost that bet with Jisung and Hyunjin and didn’t have to third wheel them and pay for their food, I’d make you pay for my dinner.” “Well it was a dumb bet you made, you should’ve known you would lose.” The youngest was just silently watching their conversation from afar until Chan gestured for him to come over with his bag. “Felix, do you mind sharing what you’ve figured out so far with Changbin? He’s heard the track plenty of times these past weeks.”_

_“What do you mean ‘plenty of times’? It haunts me in my dreams, hyung, literally.” Changbin continued to complain as Felix grabbed his notepad from his bag before he walked over to Chan, still shying away from the shortest of the bunch a little. Felix handed him the notepad and Changbin began examining what he had written down. “My thought process was that you could help Felix with brainstorming lyrics, since songwriting is completely foreign to him and he’s still a bit limited when it comes to Korean, and while you do that I’ll work on the instrumental so I can check that off my list,” Chan explained while Changbin was looking, Felix nodding in agreement._

_“I’m sure we can come up with something great, as long as you don’t mind some of the parts being rap,” Changbin said, directing his question at the youngest of the three. “I’m good with anything, to be honest,” Felix said in a very formal tone, which made Chan and Changbin smile while the latter told Felix he didn’t have to be so formal and that he was fine with being called hyung if he was older, which Felix confirmed he was, yet again sharing the story of Jisung’s trickery. Meanwhile, Chan grabbed his laptop out of his bag and placed it on his desk, connecting it to their makeshift studio setup, which was really just three small desks, three chairs, two speakers, and Chan’s laptop. Changbin had already sat down at his own of the three desks, so Chan rolled over the remaining chair for Felix to use. He gladly accepted it and sat down, now sandwiched between Chan and Changbin._

_The three of them spent the next two and a half hours working together before Changbin had to leave to meet up with Jisung and Hyunjin. In that time, he and Felix had managed to get almost halfway through a rough draft of lyrics. Changbin also took some time to teach Felix a thing or two about rapping, all while Chan finalised the instrumental. It didn’t take Felix long before he warmed up to Changbin a little, but he was still regularly looking at Chan for some reassurance._

_Even after Changbin left, the two continued working, Chan partly assisting Felix who was on roll with the lyrics when there was a word he could find, but otherwise let the younger do it himself. They spent another two and a half hours working, and Chan managed to get the first few voice lines into the mix after encouraging Felix to record the part he came up with at the cafe. The boys probably would’ve continued working if Felix hadn’t forced Chan to take a break so they could get some food because Chan’s stomach was ‘loud and distracting’. Chan just put up his hands in defeat and rolled away from his laptop slowly as he turned to look at Felix, who almost had a disappointed mum look on his face Chan couldn’t help but laugh at._

_He got up from his chair to get his phone, which had been abandoned on the nightstand next to his bed. “I hope you’re okay with getting takeout, I really don’t want to cook right now. That is if you want to stay for dinner. Of course, if you want to go home I’m not gonna hold onto you,” Chan spoke as he sat on the bed, beginning to scroll through his apps, trying his best to hide the slight disappointment in his voice from the thought of parting with Felix already. “I’d love to stay for longer, as long as I get to pay for my own food, like we split the bill.”_

_“That’s what I thought too. Any suggestions as to what to order, ‘cause I’m fine with anything.” Felix thought about the question for a bit, subconsciously turning the chair from side to side before he answered. “Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m craving either sushi, steak, or pasta, so one of those.” The younger smiled with a hopeful look in his eyes, and Chan could almost feel his heart melting at how pure Felix looked. “Well, I’m gonna have to eliminate steak, because I’m not rich and still have to feed three people for the rest of the month, and we ate pasta two days ago here, but I’m down for sushi.”_

_Felix did a victorious fist bump to the air and let out an excited “Yes, I was kinda hoping you’d pick that one.” Chan almost cooed at how adorable he was but decided against it. He gestured for Felix to sit next to him so they could decide what to order, and the younger happily skipped over to him. It took about ten minutes to finalise their order and get to pay, the app letting them know their food would arrive in approximately half an hour, while Chan sighed. “Binnie, Sungie and Hyunni are gonna behead me for eating sushi without them.”_

_Felix let out a chuckle before he lit up a little like he remembered something important. “Hyung, can I borrow your charger, by the way? My phone is almost dead and I need to text Seungmin so he doesn’t think I got kidnapped.” Chan laughed while handing him the charger before he sat back against the wall with a pillow behind his back for extra comfort, while Felix began to text Seungmin. It didn’t take long before Felix also sat back, Chan offering one of his many pillows to the younger for comfort._

_The room fell silent as Chan started to look through social media, but he quickly noticed that Felix looked like he was thinking very hard about something. “I can practically hear the gears turning in your head Felix, what are you wondering?” The younger looked slightly embarrassed to be called out like that, but explained nonetheless. “I know this might be a very personal question and completely not my business, but I’m curious about something. Changbin mentioned having to third wheel Hyunjin and Jisung, and that got me thinking, so like, are they a couple or something? Not that that’s a problem at all, you can love whoever you want, but I’m really curious.”_

_Felix looked almost ashamed to ask that question, but Chan just smiled. “I don’t mind you asking, don’t worry. Don’t tell the two I said this, but they actually have a crush on each other but are too dumb to see that the feeling is mutual, so they’re just hopelessly pining after one another. They’ve been like this for at least a year, and honestly, me and Binnie are about to give up waiting for them to figure it out themselves and just lock them in somewhere and not let them out before they’ve kissed. That is also the reason Changbin calls people lovebugs instead of lovebirds, because they stick to each other like flies.”_

_The younger looked like he just understood everything about quantum physics. “Suddenly there’s a lot of things that make a lot more sense now.” Chan smiled warmly as he turned so he was resting in the corner of his bed, now facing Felix. “If they find out I said anything I’m a dead man, but it’s not like they’re very good at hiding it either. Well, since I’ve already spilled their biggest secret, I might show you some of the videos I have on my phone of them being in love.” Felix giggled and moved closer, so he was sitting against the headrest of Chan’s bed as the latter played the video where Hyunjin and Jisung were dancing and yelling weirdly in public, while Chan and Changbin were behind the camera, regretting being friends with them._

_It quickly escalated into both Chan and Felix presenting each other various dumb videos of them and their friends they had on their phone, also exchanging phone numbers and some social media in the process, and they both ended having multiple laughing fits. They continued laughing with each other until the doorbell rang through the apartment, and both boys looked at each other with hopeful eyes before they sprung out of Chan’s bed. Chan went to the door to open up, and just as expected, it was their food. He handed the delivery guy a tip before closing the door, triumphantly holding up the bag showing it to Felix, who let out some sort of battle cry like sound while waving his phone around in the air, which he must have grabbed on the way, causing Chan to break down in a giggle fit, almost dropping the food, which prompted even weirder panic noises from the two of them._

_Luckily Chan didn’t drop the sushi, and he placed it securely on the kitchen counter while he grabbed a couple of plates before handing them to Felix. “Can you take these to the couch? I’ll have the food and some cups.” Felix nodded eagerly before taking the plates from Chan, placing them neatly on the coffee table, sitting down right in the elder’s usual sofa spot. He didn’t really mind though, considering it was objectively the best spot on the whole couch, and Felix couldn’t possibly have known that Chan regularly has to fight Changbin and Jisung away from the spot. Instead, he sat down in Changbin’s usual spot, setting the cups next to the plates and the food on the table._

_“This couch feels expensive and way out of your budget,” Felix noted, but there were no traces of anything mean in his voice, only endearment. “It is way out of our budgets, you’re right about that. It’s a couch we got from Changbin’s parents as a moving in gift, and it’s probably the most expensive thing in the whole house,” Chan said as he pulled the sushi out of the bag it was in, offering a pair of chopsticks to Felix which he gladly accepted. “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten sushi, I’m really excited.” Felix looked like a kid on Christmas morning when Chan opened the first box, making the latter giggle again. “We get it about once a month, and although we were supposed to take turns paying for it all four of us, it somehow always ends up being either me or Changbin who pays. It’s never Jisung or Hyunjin.”_

_“Jeongin isn’t too fond of it, like, he’ll eat it, but it’s not his favourite, and since he’s the youngest none of us really have the heart to tell him no when he asks if we can get something else, so we don’t get it that often,” Felix said, already filling his plate before Chan had even gotten the lids of the remaining two boxes, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sheer euphoria the younger radiated. Chan began to fill his own plate shortly after, while Felix was already eating his first piece, enjoying it a little more than he probably should, but Chan wasn’t judging. “How is it?” He asked, right as Felix put another piece into his mouth._

_“It’s so good, oh my god.” Felix had the decency to cover his mouth as he spoke, hence he wasn’t quite finished chewing before he answered. Chan smiled in acknowledgement and dug into his own pieces, having a similar reaction to Felix’s. “We always order from this place but I swear, it never gets old to get that first bite.” Felix smiled and started to chew through his third piece. Chan got up to get the two something to drink, having realised he forgot that initially. When he returned to the couch with a jug of water, Felix was already halfway through his plate. “Looks like someone is hungry.”_

_“Listen mate, I haven’t had my favourite food in goddamn ages, I’m savouring this moment,” Felix said with a chuckle. Chan sat down again, now reaching for the tv remote. “Do you mind watching a show or something while eating?” Felix shook his head, his mouth yet again full, and Chan also began to eat while waiting for an answer. “I don’t mind at all. but there’s something I wanted to ask you first.” Chan shrugged his shoulders lightly. “Sure ask away.” Felix’s expression suddenly turned rather serious, and Chan was scared. “How often do you skip meals because you’re working?”_

_The only thing Chan could do was frown and give Felix a sad smile. “Are you sure you want to know that?” The younger’s eyes fell to the ground for a moment before he spoke up. “That’s not healthy hyung, you have to eat properly, otherwise you won’t actually have the energy required to produce all the things you want to.” Somehow Chan had never looked at the situation like that before now. “I mean I guess when you look at it like that, I probably shouldn’t skip meals.”_

_“I mean I’ll gladly text you around dinner time to remind you to eat, I do it with Seungmin too cause he easily loses track of time.” Chan looked up to see that there was a small genuine smile on Felix’s lips again, and he mirrored the expression shortly after. “That might actually be helpful, so feel free to do that. Anyways, what do you want to watch?” Chan turned on the tv and opened his streaming services. “I don’t know, but we can look around and see if anything catches our eye.”_

_They settled on a show called Haven, and from then on there was only the sound of the tv and their food being annihilated. After all the food was gone, Chan got up to clean the coffee table from their meal, and returned with a few blankets and two cups of hot chocolate, since the temperature had dropped drastically. Felix was still occupying Chan’s usual spot, but the corner was still free, so after setting their drinks on the coffee table and depositing one of the blankets in Felix’s lap, Chan laid his head in the corner, and swung his body up on the couch, and put the blanket on top of him, while also putting his phone on the armrest along with Felix’s._

_That somehow prompted Felix to take a pillow from the sofa and place it against Chan before laying down with his borrowed blanket. Not that the elder minded. Every now and again Chan would have to ask Felix to reach his hot chocolate for him, which ultimately resulted in Felix’s pillow getting discarded, and also Chan getting his spot back, but now having Felix laying next to him, almost cuddling him but not quite. Around three episodes in, Chan noticed that Felix was starting to doze off, and halfway through the fourth episode, the arm that was almost cuddling Chan gained a somewhat tighter grip, and the older could feel the steady breathing of the younger sleeping coming from beside him._

_Chan decided to turn down the volume of the tv so as to not disturb the sleeping boy. The older couldn’t get over how peaceful Felix looked in his slumber, and it was getting harder to focus on the tv show and not the sleeping boy. Then Chan suddenly heard a repeating buzzing coming from his other side. Felix’s phone had started ringing, and Chan could see it was Seungmin calling him, and he remembered that the younger boy’s roommate was probably wondering why he wasn’t home yet and the clock was closing in on ten pm, so Chan decided to answer the call._

_“Hello?” Chan said as he picked up, and even before he could finish that someone on the other end of the line was already speaking. “_ Felix thank god, you didn’t answer in the group and-wait that wasn’t Felix was it? _” The boy on the other end of the line immediately sounded like he was suspicious, which was fair enough given the circumstance. “No, this isn’t Felix, my name is Bang Chan and-” Before Chan could finish his sentence, the other end of the line erupted into sheer chaos. “_ I swear to god, Bang Chan-ssi, if Felix is hurt I will not go easy on you.”

_He had to hold in a chuckle, as it definitely wasn’t appropriate right now, but he was glad Felix had such a caring friend. “Don’t worry Seungmin-ssi, at least I’m assuming that’s you since Felix has mentioned you as his best friend and your name showed up on the caller display, Felix isn’t hurt, he just fell asleep on my couch. I can wake him up and give him the phone though if you want.” Seungmin made a thinking noise before answering. “_ No don’t wake him up, he’s finally getting some sleep so just let him be. I am still not entirely convinced that you didn’t just kidnap him, so do you mind facetiming so you can prove it? _” Chan tried to enable facetime, but for that, he needed Felix’s password, and he was not about to ask for that, so he came up with something._

_“I would, but that requires Felix’s passcode, and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you won’t tell me that information, so I’m gonna give you my own number so you can facetime my phone, yeah?” Chan really hoped it would be enough since there wasn’t much else he could do. He could hear a faint discussion from the other end of the line, waiting patiently for an answer. “_ Okay deal, tell me the number, Minho hyung, please take notes _.” So Chan started reciting his own number, and within the minute, his own phone rang, and he answered the facetime call immediately._

_“Alright, show us Felix hyung.” Someone exclaimed, and Chan assumed it was Jeongin, recalling that Felix had told him that Jeongin was the only one who called him that. Chan panned the camera a little so the three boys could see the peacefully sleeping boy, and he saw them all relaxed as soon as they saw Felix. Then the one who was holding the phone spoke. “_ Okay, Bang Chan-ssi, since Felix is finally getting some rest, and clearly trusts you enough to fall asleep next to you so easily, we’ll be okay with him staying wherever you are so he can get as much as possible, but I swear to god, if anything happens to my baby cousin, you’re done for _.”_

_From that last line alone Chan could determine that the one holding the phone was Minho, but he didn’t let them know that, instead he did what any reasonable man would. “So now that we have established that I have not kidnapped Felix, would you mind telling me who’s who? Felix has only mentioned you by name.” He left out the part where Felix showed him dumb videos of them, simply because he didn’t feel like saving anyone from manslaughter today._

_“_ Well, I’m Minho, I’m Felix’s cousin. The little one with the braces is Jeongin and the last one is Seungmin, his unfortunate roommate _.” Chan nodded understandingly and glanced at the clock again. “Well, it’s getting late and I might also fall asleep soon, but, if it would make you feel more at ease with Felix staying here for the night, I can send Minho-ssi my address so you know exactly where he is.” All three boys immediately lit up as soon as he mentioned giving them his address, and Seungmin nodded in agreement. “_ That would be wonderful if you did that, and thank you for taking care of our Lixie _.” Chan smiled at the nickname they had given Felix._

_“Then, I’ll hang up and text Minho-ssi the address, and then I’ll go to bed. And I promise to take care of him.” The three boys bid their farewells and goodnights, and Chan did as he promised and sent his address to Minho, who responded with a rather worrying emote. Then he sent a text to his own group chat saying; ‘If you come home and see me and Felix asleep on the couch, no you didn’t’, which sent Jisung and Hyunjin into an uproar as to why Felix would be sleeping on their couch and how he ended up there._

_Chan didn’t bother to check his phone anymore, so he put it away after putting it on do not disturb mode, so it wasn’t constantly buzzing because of his group chat losing their marbles. He then turned off the tv, and normally he would have wandered off to bed by now, but Chan didn’t dare to move in fear of waking the younger next to him, so he laid back a little more, deciding to just sleep on the couch. It wasn’t a bad couch after all. Chan took a look at the freckled boy who was now pretty much nuzzling into his side. Felix looked ethereal like this, so carefree and peaceful. And then Chan started to feel himself dozing off, so he took one last look at the younger, and then the world faded around him, as he drifted off into sleep along with Felix._

_Present Day_

Wednesday the 20th of December 2017 marked the day where the sun finally started to shine in Chan’s life, banishing all the gloomy clouds that once resided there in his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not my first writing work, but it is me very first time using ao3 so that's fun. idk when chapter two will be out, but it's in the making.


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